A New Look at the Prayer of Jabez

Another look at I Chron. 4:9 & 10 NIV

9 Jabez was more honorable than his brothers. His mother had named him Jabez, saying, "I gave birth to him in pain." 10 Jabez cried out to the God of Israel, "Oh, that you would bless me and enlarge my territory! Let your hand be with me, and keep me from harm so that I will be free from pain." And God granted his request.

New Look:

Sorrowful Pain became very rich.  This probably meant he had lots of livestock and people and children and wives (check out Abraham and Lot in Genesis 13).  Having this kind of wealth meant he was seen in his family as more honorable and responsible.  It also meant he was more of a burden on the land because of it, just like in the days of Abraham and Lot!  Sorrowful Pain's own family and his extended family lived together in the same area. 

Things became environmentally unsustainable, uncomfortable, and unpleasant.  There wasn’t room enough for everybody because of Sorrowful Pain's many blessings.  Sorrowful Pain began to outgrow the boundaries of his family’s territory... just like he did in the womb. 

Remember, his name was Sorrowful Pain; and he had to live with it because his mother called him that.  After all, the labor and delivery process was so painful to her, that she named her newborn child Sorrowful Pain, because that is what she experienced while she was delivering him.  Sorrowful Pain was bigger than his mother's birth canal.  Sorrowful Pain’s mother’s cervix was too narrow and needed to enlarge (dilate) so that he could come through without causing so much sorrowful pain.  She probably really needed a Cesarean section! Now, as a grown man and more “honorable” than his family, Sorrowful Pain outgrew the borders in which he lives.  All his wealth and blessings became burdensome.  He again is too big for his boundaries... or is it that the boundary is too small for his size?  Truly, he could have blamed his mother for being too small for him to come through.  Let's look at it from the perspective of the fetus.  What if Jabez’s mother's narrow cervix caused him sorrowful pain and distress during labor?   

All his life, he would have heard the story of how he was born.  Over and over, at every birthday, every important moment, at his Bar Mitzvah, at family gatherings, at the birth of his own children, when his mother was among the other women spinning or drawing water... and perhaps especially when she was angry with him.  At any rate, the relationship between Jabez and his mother was strained, to say the least, because she never changed his name.  I'm sure he wondered within himself, "How?"  "Why?"  Maybe he asked a physician why it happened.  Maybe he saw it happen when a cow had difficulty calving and made the connection. And now, in his current outgrown boundary, strife and displeasure arises, and the honorable blessings are now a burden.  Sorrowful Pain prays,

Image by Michael Dudash

"O Lord, the blessing that I am, and now the blessings that you allowed me to have, are again causing others to experience burden, sorrow, and pain.  This is because I have outgrown where I am.  Where I am is not large enough to hold me any longer, and it is causing problems and complications. 

I think back on why my mother named me Sorrowful Pain.  My arrival into this world was supposed to be a blessing, and I ended up causing my mother sorrowful pain.  It was not my fault, but the labor pains and delivery were so traumatic to her, that she named me Sorrowful Pain!

Now, as a grown man, You have blessed me with riches and wealth...  but because I am so large in number, the blessings have become a burden to my family! 

So please bless me with blessings that bless, not cause sorrowful pain or burden!   Please enlarge  my borders (dilate the cervix) and support me;  take away all of the constraints, and keep me  away from evil, distressful, and vexing situations  so that the blessing of life and the blessings of  life and the blessings for life do not cause me  sorrowful pain!” 

And God granted his request.

So, was Jabez too big, or was his mother's cervix too small?  Did Jabez have any control over his size?   Could he have made himself smaller in the womb?  No.   He was what he was.  What God created him to be.  However, his mother could have asked the Lord to make her cervix dilate larger so she wouldn't have sorrowful pain.  She could have prayed, "Oh, that you would bless me with this blessing so I don't experience it as a curse, and enlarge my cervix! Let your strength and support be with me, and keep me from harm so that I will be free from sorrowful pain."

I believe God would have granted her request.

Like Jabez's mother blamed him for causing her sorrowful pain, Jabez could have blamed the great blessing of God for causing familial and environmental distress.  Jabez was in a situation where he was about to "give birth" to his destiny!  The murmurings of the environment were literally labor pains that began to distress and vex him.  Rather than blame the blessing for causing the murmurings and distress, he asked God to enlarge the environment.  Jabez did not ask God to make his blessings smaller, he asked God to make the environment, the boundary bigger.  Jabez's mother would not have been able to make her body bigger so that Jabez could be born at the size he was... but she could have asked God to make her birth canal bigger!!

Although Jabez's mother blamed Jabez (her blessing) for her pain, Jabez did not blame his blessing.  Instead, he prayed, "Lord - please bless me with this blessing to be a blessing and don't allow this blessing to be a curse to me! Enlarge my boundaries and remove the constraints - dilate this constraining cervix! Let your strength and support be with me, and keep me from harm so that I will be free from sorrowful pain."

Jabez broke the cycle.  Fallen Man's proclivity is to blame someone or something else for distress or sorrowful pain.  Rather than to blame, Jabez went to the Lord.  This prayer is in the shape of the Cross. 

Jabez went vertical, and the Lord blessed the horizontal.

As for me, to shrink and make myself smaller is not an option, for to do so would be to deny my very existence and essence, and the blessing that I am.  If others view my person, the blessings, the "glory," the vastness, ability, wealth, and honor God has given me to be burdensome enough to call me “Sorrowful Pain,” it is not my fault.  I am not to attempt to diminish myself as if something is wrong with me because God has blessed me.  Nor am I to renounce the blessings – abdicate them, give them away or ask God to take them away.  What is it if I said to God, "I don't want your blessings.  They are a burden to me and my family. Take them back!"  That would be insulting!  It would mean my perception, paradigm, capacity to receive, and thinking is too small!   Rather, I am to ask God to BLESS me by the blessings and to disallow them from being burdensome, causing me pain, or becoming a curse, so that I can freely bless others with the blessings God has blessed me to bless others with! 

I must acknowledge God’s blessings as good and ask Him to expand the horizon, and remove the constraints so that I am protected from harm and free from sorrowful pain.  I am to reverence the Lord by recognizing the beauty of His good pleasure in my life with humility and holiness.  As it is written, "The fear of the LORD is the beginning of wisdom; all who follow his precepts have good understanding. To him belongs eternal praise." (Psalm 111:10, NIV)